Here is a photo of Evan's first day of Kindergarten...

It is August and that means the start of school. I have come to dread this time of year. I think it hits me harder than his anniversary date and I am not really sure why. Our school district began school on the 17th. I just wanted to hide from the world all week. I didn't even want to see or hear a school bus! I had to stay off facebook to avoid everyone talking about the teachers their kiddos had. To be honest, I felt like a little kid left out of the game. Everyone got to send their kids off to school except me. I guess you can say that it was mere jealousy. I kept imagining what it would be like to take his picture on his first day of 3rd grade. That will never happen. Thank goodness my reinforcement team showed up for coffee and bagels. I am so blessed with such an amazing group of friends!

I truly treasure the Kindergarten year that Evan did have. He was blessed with an incredible teacher and I loved being a part of his class! It saddens me to know that Kindergarten is ALL he will have ever had. I wonder if there is school in Heaven?

Noah's birthday was on Thursday. I literally had to pull myself out of the dumps and pull it together for him. This was not easy and it took every ounce of my emotional strength to get through it. How unfair is this? Every major milestone and/or holiday is riddled with sadness as well has happiness and hope for the future. Noah deserves his birthday to be recognized with enthusiasm and excitement.

I decided to sink myself into a Superhero cake that Noah so desperately wanted. I am pretty proud of how it turned out!

Look A Like

I just wanted to share these pictures of our boys. Each photo was taken between 6 and 7 months of age. Out of the three we are SO amazed at how much Evan and Chase look alike! Chase is slightly bigger than Evan was, but I cannot believe just how much he looks like Evan.

Evan

Evan


Chase

Noah

And Noah.....well we usually say Fed Ex or UPS!

Well our trip to Hilton Head was almost two months ago. I had worked myself up to taking a family portrait and actually quite content with how it turned out. Now here is it is two months later and it is beautifully framed and still sitting on the floor. I keep looking at the last family photo we had taken and cannot bring myself to replace it. We all looked so happy and on top of the world. I look at the photo and wonder what it would be like to actually be that happy again. More importantly we had Evan. We were living life with our two beautiful little boys and couldn't have been any more grateful! We had light in our eyes and the glow on our faces showed it.

I am all to aware that when I take this family portrait down I will never again have a photo with all the members of our family. I had to settle with Evan's name in the sand. I had intended to put our new family photo on the wall along with two boys on one side and Evan's name on the other. That is just NOT the way it is suppose to be!