May

Evan's 8th birthday is on Monday. Each day is getting harder and harder. I should be scrambling around like a fool making plans for his party. Instead I am gathering items that I want to take to the cemetery to decorate his headstone.

Every year the month of May was always our favorite. Spring was here and the weather was usually nice. Evan's birthday was on the 24th and we all could not wait for summer. I used to love the smell of the blooming flowers and the sound of birds chirping on the cool sunny mornings. Nate and I would spend days getting the yard ready for a party. Now all these things are just a painful reminder of the tragedy in our lives and how we are changed forever.

I miss watching Evan get more and more excited as each day got closer. I miss how grateful he was to get presents and how everything always revolved around Superheros. Now each year his birthday will come and go and in our minds he will always be 6. Nate recently mentioned that we need to go and get him a present. This is when I just want to sit and cry...



Evan's aunt posted this on my facebook page this morning. Sometimes it is the little things that help me get through the day.


I know how much you love me as much as I love you, and each time that you think of me I know you'll miss me too, but when tomorrow starts without me please try understand that a angel came and called my name, and took me by the hand and said my place was ready in heaven far above, and that I'd have to leave behind all those I love. Don't think we're far apart. For everytime you think of me I'm right here in your Heart. Mom I'll always be your sweet little angel in Heaven! "Happy Birthday Evan"

Thanks Connie for brightening my day!